DIVORCE ADVICE FOR WOMEN
With our divorce help for women, you can receive important information for navigating the various stages of divorce while juggling the demands of life such as your job, family, and emotions.As you return to an independent single woman and/or a single parent, you will find our Divorce Tool Box useful as a step by step guide through the process.
Coming to Terms with Divorce
The first step in our series of divorce tips for women helps you come to terms with the end of your marriage. Even if it is your decision, it can still be a difficult and emotional process as you work through the grief cycle. Additionally, you may experience family and societal pressures.
Our guide will help you to understand that divorce should not be considered a failure, rather we understand that it takes two committed individuals to maintain a marriage. If there is physical and/or verbal abuse within the marriage, divorce may be preferable for safety as well as your happiness.
Surround yourself with Positive People
The divorce process is one of the most difficult and stressful events that you will ever face as it ranks number two on the social readjustment stress scale. We realize that it is a stressful so we don’t want you to go through it alone that’s why we offer insightful divorce help for women within our Divorce Tool Box.
Creating a support system in order to surround yourself with family and friends who love and support you is so important. You do not have to be Super Woman, coping with everything alone. In addition to receiving help from Divorce Tool Box, do not be afraid to ask for help, or to accept it.
Remain on Good Terms with your Spouse:
Remaining on good terms with your former spouse will make life easier for you and especially if children are involved. Learning to place your emotions aside and using the art of compromise will help as you attempt to reach a satisfactory divorce agreement saving you a lot of time, money and stress!
Allow Access to Kids and Maintain Family Relationships where Possible
It’s not uncommon for animosity to occur between spouses but this shouldn’t involve your kids. It is important for them to have a good relationship with both parents. Don’t let the children become a bargaining tool or weapon used toward your ex-spouse. As hard as it may sound: if your soon to be ex-spouse proves to be unreliable, the kids will eventually figure this out for themselves. Trying to prevent your spouse from seeing them will only cast you as the bad guy later down the line. Rather, work toward co-parenting that enforces stability for the kids and support toward each parent. Also, maintaining relationships with extended family members is important unless circumstances involve neglect, abuse, etc. Grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles should remain an active part of your child’s life if at all possible. Maintaining ongoing family relationships can be a source of stability for all family members since divorce often creates chaos and instability for a period of time.
Be Fair with Division of Property
Be prepared to be flexible when it comes to dividing up belongings.
Perhaps you were given your husband’s mother’s jewelry as a gift during the marriage. Does this have sentimental value for him? Do you have children who would also find sentimental value in the jewelry as they mature?
Perhaps he loves the Bose sound system, whereas you are more keen on the dining room furniture. Although the marriage did not work, you can still come to an agreement about how to part ways. Making fair decisions about the future ownership of personal property is an important part of this process. Divorce Tool Box helps with a step-by-step guide for division of personal property.
Be Realistic About Your Finances
If you decide that you will become responsible for the family home, you need to be honest with yourself about whether you will be able to afford to maintain the family home on your income alone. If you think you will financially struggle, it may be best to let go of the family home and make a fresh start elsewhere. Now is the time to think with your head, not the heart.
Underestimating the costs associated as a result of divorce is common. There are likely to be hidden costs arising from the changes in your life that you may not have budgeted for thus creating a post-divorce financial crisis. There may be increased travel if one parent has moved out of the school district and since both parents may not be available after school, additional childcare may be needed. Will you need to buy additional furniture or other items for a new household? Will your mortgage or rent be less affordable without your spouse's income?
Additionally, you may be liable for debts accrued over the course of the marriage but don't bury your head in the sand over this. Divorce Tool Box will help you over this critial hurdle as we help you create a pre and post - divorce budget so you learn to identify your financial needs now and how to anticipate future expenses so you can plan for related divorce finances wisely. We offer divorce advice for women in regard to preparing financially and what to expect.
Kids Come First
The welfare and happiness of your children is the single most important thing to think about during this process. Planning in advance of how to tell the children is so important. If possible, sitting down together to break the news to them may be helpful to you and the children. Also, remeber that no matter how old they are or how bad things have been in the family home, this is likely to be a major shock to them.
It's not uncommon for children to feel that they are to blame for their parent's divorce. Reassure them that this is not their fault and they are still loved by both of you. Be open about the situation without negativity. If you are the parent that will be moving from the marital home and the children are remaining with your former spouse, ease their anxiety by making plans to see them often. Let the children see you on good terms with each other, regardless of what is occuring behind closed doors.
While you are busy taking care of everything and everyone else, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Happy parents raise happy children. If you and your spouse can maintain a positive relationship and mindset even though the marriage itself is ending, this will beneficial for your children.
How can you Effectively Co-Parent?
How can you co-parent effectively to make life easier on each other and your kids? What help do you need? When you know the answer to these questions, remember that your partner is not a mind-reader!
Be open about what you would like for your spouse to consider for parenting across two homes. Keeping an open dialogue regarding plans, holidays, communication, and ultimately deciding how to help your children reach the goals set for them before you decided to divorce is imperative. We offer many divorce tips for women regarding co-parenting and becoming a single parent.
Moving on
In time, you will begin building a new life for yourself away from the life you had with your spouse. Schedule time for your former spouse to spend with the kids and take that opportunity to relax and do something for yourself.
Rediscover your friends and hobbies that may have fallen by the wayside during your marriage. Spending time doing the things you love is a sure-fire way of meeting new people you’d like to spend time with while rediscovering your new identity.
Divorce is never easy, but guidance from Divorce Tool Box may help you avoid the common pitfalls. Make things go more smoothly and quickly by familiarizing yourself with the practicalities of the divorce process and allow us to give you a helping hand.
To find more divorce help for women, view our Divorce Tool Box online sessions today. We offer two programs: Divorcing with Children and Divorcing without Children.